GS Don Morris

Individuals communicate with one another through speaking and actions. What students hear and their interpretations affect their behavior.

You’ve probably heard comments such as these on your playground:
• Say that again and I’ll…
• He made me throw the ball at his face…
• I am not sorry I …
• Why you xo!@# !
• Watch your back after school today!

These are likely some of the “tamer” comments heard on today’s playgrounds. The point is that words are important and help create a particular atmosphere in our schools. Words affect our feelings and thoughts. They promote trust and help build a sense of community, or destroy both. Negative expressions cause students to act irresponsibly. So is it possible to create movement environments that foster and nurture appropriate behavior? Not only is this possible, but it’s occurring daily in schools across the country.

What Does “Becoming Responsible” Mean?
Responsibility means taking care of others, our surroundings, and ourselves. This includes fulfilling our obligations, keeping our commitments, and striving to do and be our personal and moral best, and nurturing and supporting one another. ¹

This definition is useful, because it incorporates the key notion that responsibility is not imposed from the outside. Responsibility is a voluntary act that involves choice. It is internally motivated, a positive consequence to a positive choice. Fundamental to this idea is that children are choice-making individuals who are capable of accepting responsibility for their own actions and for the consequences of their own behaviors.

Responsibility develops in three stages. First, we learn about becoming personally responsible for our thoughts, feelings, language, and actions. This puts us in charge of behavioral decisions we make. This is stage one in becoming a responsible human being. It enables us to gain personal control for our behavior. Once learned, stage two of responsibility development is learning to be responsible toward others in the world. Then in stage three, we learn to apply responsibility concepts to people, property, and groups in the larger context of our lives and in our surroundings.

In the remainder of this article I’ll focus upon language physical educators can use to help students develop personal responsibility. It can help to create peace in the gym and on the playground. We know that a teacher’s language is crucial to establishing a climate in which all students begin to trust one another. Likewise, the language students’ use is equally important. If a climate of trust and support is to exist within a class, students must also possess effective language skills. ²

Teacher Talk-Introduction To What It Sounds Like
When talking to students use supportive language that sends the message, "You are capable. You are worthwhile. You matter." Spoken honestly, these messages can enhance two aspects of becoming responsible: locus of control and perceived competence. Children with an internal locus of control are less susceptible to the opinions of others regarding their own self-worth and potential actions. They believe that what happens to them is largely a result of the choices they make. And when they can't influence what happens, they can still decide how they will let circumstances affect them.

Perceived competence refers to a child's subjective idea about his or her own competence. Frequently, it includes an objective assessment of one's own ability to meet challenges, with success being based on skill demonstration. Perceived competence is influenced by one's own skill assessment as well as by the judgments of significant others. Enabling students by inoculating students with bland admonishments will change nothing about their notions of who they are, and can lead to a distrust of adult communications.

When kids ask you questions or make statements in class, how do YOU typically react? How we respond – the words we use – directly affects the outcome. Ever have students repeatedly ask you questions? The thought probably flashes in your head, "Geez, I'm tired and this kid is back again! If I just give them the answer they’ll return to activity." But providing the answer encourages dependence: Allowing them to work through the question enables and ennobles them. The words we use dictate the outcome. We need to ask ourselves “What are we committed to - our comfort, or the well being of our students?” I encourage you to learn to use a language of acceptance.

Acknowledging Students’ Feelings
Do any of the following statements and responses sound familiar?

“Billy got more paper than me”- “No, I gave you each the same amount of paper.”
“Can you close the window? It’s cold in here.” - “No, it’s hot in here!”
“Sara is telling lies about me to the girls” - “Don’t feel bad. Sara isn’t talking about you to others.”
“Juan threw the ball at me” - “No I didn’t. You threw it first.

Most of us tend to deny the students’ feelings. We don’t mean to. It just happens by the manner in which we respond to their words. For example, many of us tell students not to feel bad. This immediately invalidates what is real for them because they do indeed feel bad. An alternative response might be to say:

“You’re cold, but I’m feeling hot.”
“It hurts to think someone is saying bad things about you!”

It’s okay to say whatever you feel is right for you at any given moment in time. The feelings are real, and typically we react behaviorally consistent with these feelings. To deny their existence places students in conflict with us - their teachers. The best advice I can offer is to become a very good listener. Listen with your full attention.

How To Acknowledge Students’ Feelings When They Are In Distress.

How To Enable Student Cooperation:
A classroom of students working together produces incredible results. But essential to the creation of a cooperative climate is language that promotes cooperative behavior. As Faber and Mazlish ³ point out, many commonly used methods adults use to promote cooperation don’t work! Blaming and accusing, name calling, threats, commands, lecturing, warnings, comparisons, and sarcasm are just a few of these techniques. The usual result is disengaging our students from the co-operative process. Are there other ways available to us? The following five strategies can dramatically improve students’ willingness to cooperate with one another.

a. Describe the situation: This is a neutral statement

"The playground balls are outside the ball container."
"Maria, I need to use the scissors now."
"The door to the equipment is open."
“Your desk is nearly overflowing with papers and books."

b. Provide Students Information: This reduces words used, and places responsibility upon the proper shoulders - the students.

"Jump ropes left on the field disappear."
“Your books belong in your desk."
“Children are not for hitting.”
“If would be helpful if the equipment were put away.”

c. Offer A Word: This places responsibility upon students to think about their behavior.

Avoid: “How many times must I ask you to put the hula hoops away?”

Try: “Hoops!”

Avoid: “Once again, you are heading to the computer room without your disk.”

Try: “Roberta, your disk.”

d. Express Your Feelings: The demonstrates how to appropriately state feelings without coupling them with inappropriate actions

“I get impatient when we don’t complete tasks promptly. I expect all exercises to be finished in the first five minutes of class.”
“I become angry when I see children bumping into one another on purpose.”
“Frustration sets in when I can’t finish what I start to say.”

e. Write A Note: These are used only to reinforce appropriate behavior

Notes are a neat way to personalize messages to your students. We leave them on student desks properly addressed. We’ve even stuck them in the sleeves of student jackets. Keep the message brief and to the point. Of course be sure to clear this technique first with your administration

How To Empower Appropriate Behavior:
There will be times when you say all the correct things and your students still display inappropriate behavior. Often-times they will ignore you and even defy you. When the latter occurs, most of us want to PUNISH them. I’ve found it more effective if students experience the consequences of their inappropriate behavior. Here are a few possible ways you might respond:

Experience the behavior consequences
This technique requires us to carefully choose our words. The consequence selected should appropriately match the undesired behavior(s). It should “cost” the students, and yet allow them to realize what they did to receive the consequence.

“Class, recess will be shortened 10 minutes.”
“Why?”
“You tell me!”
“Because we were rude and noisy during reading?”
“That’s right!”

Comment: Teachers, the concept is to share a consequence with your students. Perhaps recess withdrawal is not appropriate for some students who would be reinforced by staying inside. Select another behavior that has a “cost” to it.

How To Use Effective Praise
Somewhat surprisingly, I’ve discovered that praise can contribute to inappropriate behavior. Praise itself was not the problem; rather it was the way in which it was delivered. I soon learned that the nature of the praise used was the issue, not that praise itself was incorrect. All of us enjoy a pat on the back, an acknowledgement and appreciation, but evaluative words such as “great,” “good,” “wonderful,” “beautiful” (words that evaluate) often make students uncomfortable.

We've discovered that the excessive use of evaluative praise words actually decreases students' sense of self. However, if praise is delivered in a meaningful manner the reverse is observed. Therefore, praise should describe with appreciation what students see or feel. Students can then learn how to praise themselves. The following examples demonstrate this idea:

Summary
It’s been said that talk is cheap. I’ve learned that language used effectively and consistently is the gateway to developing student responsibility in schools today. Students hear the words and watch the actions of their classmates and teachers. They interpret these messages and behave accordingly. I encourage choice making by all students, and believe that the “new” language styles I’ve shared support the development of responsible and accountable living practices.

As a teacher, once you know that alternative language choices are possible you can more carefully choose the words you use. There’s a tendency in today’s society to blame, whine and complain, and to avoid being accountable. A language and a culture have evolved supporting these three elements of irresponsible behavior.

Fortunately there is another way, and once learned the choice becomes yours to make. Is it easy to change? Yes, once one is committed to change. Does it take time to change one’s language? Yes. But the pay-off is worth the effort. It creates an environment of trust and a sense of community. This is only the proverbial “tip of the iceberg” and we can certainly do much more. In agreement with President Obama’s message to students nationwide, we should expect everyone, regardless of their situation and circumstances, to become responsible with their own lives every day. ⁴

End Notes

1. Other virtues can be viewed as specific forms of responsibility (e.g., compassion, cooperation, risk-taking, self-discipline, honesty, and helpfulness, to name a few). For more information see - Morris, GS D., & Stiehl, J.D, (2004). Becoming Responsible, (2nd ed.). Los Angeles, CA: MOST Publishing.
2. Examples include, self talk for increasing internal locus of control, language that children can use for making and keeping agreements, words that invite support, language that acknowledges others, aides in cooperation, and language that helps them negotiate conflict.
3. Faber, A., & Mazlish, E. (1999). How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. New York: Harper Paperbacks.
4. Message from President Obama, September 8, 2008 to students across the USA.

* G.S. Don Morris, PhD, is a former professor at California State Polytechnic University at Pomona, serving as coordinator of curriculum, instruction, and teacher education in Kinesiology. Dr. Morris spent over 25 years teaching in local elementary schools. He designed and created a model elementary PE curriculum used in many California school districts. Currently he is associated with Wingate Institute and Zinman College in Israel and divides his time between Cal Poly Pomona and Zinman College. In his leisure time, he enjoys snow skiing, participating in all water activities, and spending time in the Sierra Nevada Mountains.

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