The Sad Facts

Too many cases of kids, who first introduced to sports in a highly competitive environment, a few years later have decided to shut sports out of their lives – instead of going on to enjoy amateur sports at the high school level, these youngsters have instead turned away from sports

· Only 25 percent of youth league stars(less than 13 years old) ever end up becoming

stars in high school

· According to a recent study as many as 80% of all children who play youth sports drop

out of competitive sports by the time they reach the ripe old age of twelve

Countless studies indicate how stressful the competition of youth sports can be for children – and how detrimental that can be to their self-esteem. Evidence suggests that coaches and parents provide most of the stress for the kids.

When kids are stressed out – they give up. They turn away or find some nonathletic avocation…or become depressed.

75% of those who excel in their preteen years are going to be just average or a little bit better than average by the time they get to their junior or senior year in school.

Why The Trends?

Somewhere along the line early in their sporting careers – too many of these kids had the misfortune to have fallen into the hands of coaches who decided that they weren’t good enough to play or simply didn’t want them to play.

Adult egos often turn the game into a victory drive or a training ground for future stars, with their children as pawns.

Many coaches decide that they want to “show kids that sports can be a positive experience” – but that it can only be positive if they play on a winning team – hence the coach plays the more advanced players most of the time, while the less talented kids play limited amounts – from the coach’s point of view the “lesser” kids share in their teammates on the field successes. Imagine how much fun it is to always having to congratulate his teammate for playing well…from the bench.

It doesn’t take a Ph.D. in psychology to figure out that if a child doesn’t get to play much , then after a while he won’t show much enthusiasm for signing up next year. This child has in essence become a “has-been” before given a chance to develop his skills.

One of the gravest concerns that psychologists have about organized youth leagues is that because they are set up by adult, run by adults and maintained by adults, they tend to overlook the spontaneous needs and desires of young children.

The Coach: Sacrificing the Win

If the coach really understands and accepts that, for kids, playing is more fun than winning or losing, then he or she is on his or her way to making the season a productive and enjoyable one for all the kids on the squad, one in which each child will have an equal amount of playing time and that will, according to the sport, enable them to play different position. That, of course is the fundamental purpose of youth sports: to allow the children to learn and enjoy a sport without the anxiety of having to keep score or care about winning or losing. If the coach of your child truly embraces this concept, you can rest assured that your child has a good chance of having lots of fun.

· In a landmark study, two questions were asked:

1) Would you rather play simply for fun or would you prefer to win?

2) Would you rather be on a winning team but sit on the bench, or would you rather play a lot on a team that loses a lot?

Over 95% of kids replied that they would rather have fun than worry about winning and over 90% said they would prefer to be on a losing team if they were able to play in the games rather than be bench warmers on a winning team.

The results are clear: kids would rather simply play and have fun – too often, sadly, it’s us – the adults – who get in the way of their fun and enjoyment. The first priority in sports – as far as kids are concerned – is having fun – winning and losing is secondary.

As a coach, the best result you can hope for is for the child not only master that certain skill, but to come away feeling good about him – or herself and internally eager to keep on improving that skill.

If there is one overall purpose of getting a child involved in organized youth sports, it is to enhance their self esteem, to build their sense of self confidence.

Coaching Behaviors

Emotional abuse in organized youth sports leagues can take many forms:

· the coach tells the kids on the team that, to be fair, they will get playing time based strictly upon how good they are.

· The coach sees nothing wrong with yelling and screaming at his or her players if they aren’t playing well or make a mistake

If there is one simple rule that every youth league coach should understand, it’s that all children respond to positive feedback and encouragement. No volume of yelling or screaming you do is ever going to have as much long term impact as a few kind, sincere words of praise.

All people, kids included, respond in a better more motivated fashion when the authority figure they report to uses praise as a motivational force – not threats or sarcasm.

Nothing can do more to hurt a child’s self esteem than a few caustic or sarcastic comments made by a coach spoken in a moment of uncontrolled anger or disappointment

Fun First

Once a child has practiced long and hard, the game should be looked on as a joyful, fun

experience -–not as a test of his or her grit, stamina and competitive fire.

“Flow” is the sensation you experience when you’re so involved in what you’re doing and

having so much fun with the task at hand that you seem to lose yourself in that activity, losing track of time, outside distractions and other daily worries or concerns.

It does give a child a spiritual and psychological lift if she or he is taught that they will always play their best merely by trying to enjoy themselves on the playing field. Too many coaches tell kids just the opposite: that the more success you have – the more fun you’ll have – remember – make it fun first – tell your children to trust themselves – trust their ability.

In most youth leagues there is a rule stipulating that every child has to play a substantial portion of the game – also usually stipulates that each child rotate from position to position.

Poll of 12,000 kids given 12 reasons to choose for why they play sports – both boys and girls picked fun as #1 – boys picked winning as 8^th – girls picked winning as 12^th