A recent study followed students who got into Ivy League schools and then chose not to attend for a range of reasons. What they found was that these students did just as well financially and in terms of perceived status as their Ivy League peers, even 15 years down the road. And, overall, they reported a higher level of personal happiness.
"The frenzy is causing the problem. You are causing the problem," Pope told her audience.
'Have I debunked it?" she asked the audience with a rueful look. Silence stretched out for a second, followed by some scattered applause. "The jury's still out."
Professors and student services at Stanford combined to form a conference called S.O.S. - Stressed-Out Students. Schools and their stakeholders - parents, students, teachers and administrators - are invited to attend. The Stanford team presents strategies and tools to improve student health and community expectations. Participants draft a school-specific plan for change, focusing on a subject like the homework policy or school schedule. For more information, visit sosconference.stanford.edu.

Building responsibility improves achievement, but that can be achieved through other routes than a daily ditto sheet. She cited the ideal guidelines for elementary school homework, which should slowly increase from 10 minutes in first grade to a little more than an hour in middle school.
"Some parents say their kid's doing four hours a night. Start a dialogue around
homework, it sounds like you need it," Pope said. 'I would love to see a focus on project-based learning. It decreases cheating and increases the retention of information.
“Real science is messy. It doesn't necessarily have to have a right answer," Pope said.
She suggested service-learning projects where students can do something they care about like testing water quality, and see how their learning can make a difference in the world.
The problem with this plan, Pope acknowledges, is that projects don't always teach to the test, and state-mandated achievement tests matter even for idealistic school districts and parents. Pope said schools can work around the challenge. She holds workshops for teachers on how to integrate test-specific knowledge into diverse curricula.
After describing ways the school system could change to combat stress and improve the genuine quality of education, Pope turned to parental solutions.
"Listen to your child. And your gut,' she said. "If you're doing stuff you know is developmentally inappropriate, living life in the fast lane, you've got to get out. And get your family out."
She asked the audience to examine their values. If a parent values honesty, why does he or she countenance a system in which children think a top grade is worth cheating for?
"(Parents) are defining success much too narrowly," Pope said. "The No. 1 cause of a stressed-out kid is a stressed-out parent."
She emphasized "PDF' - playtime, downtime and family time - and challenged parents to learn to say no to overscheduling the family.”Just because the opportunities are there doesn't mean you have to go," she said.
She advised parents to examine the subtle messages they send to students, verbally and nonverbally. And she raised a topic she acknowledged was going to be a tough sell, what she called, and “debunking college myths."
"Why am I talking about college to K-8 parents? Because I know you're thinking about it," Pope said. She paused and emphasized every word: "It doesn't matter where they go to school."